


Fallen Angel

by thatscalledyes



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2017-12-17 11:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 13,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatscalledyes/pseuds/thatscalledyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie has never gotten anything she wanted. She lives alone and barely gets by on what she makes as a CNA. When she meets a guy from a famous rock band, she's surprised he asks her out on a date. She wants him to know everything, but she's afraid of what he'll think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Date?

There was a soft knock on the door and he looked over to see the beautiful, young nurse that had been taking care of him the past few days.

"May I come in?" She asked.

He tried to shift himself upright so he wouldn't look lazy. "Of course--Ow!" His side stung in pain.

"Oh, let me help you." She rushed over to his bedside and wrapped her arms around him to help shift him upright.

She had the softest touch. Andy was happy that she was his nurse. After jumping off a ledge and completely missing the stage, Andy was sent to the hospital with three broken ribs.

"So, are you okay? I just came to check on you to make sure. I hear they're going to let you go tomorrow." She tucked a strand of loose blonde hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I'm good... Now that you're here." Andy said and she smiled. He loved her smile. He did everything he could to make her smile.

"Oh, stop it, Andy." She giggled.

"I have to ask." He continued. "I know that they're letting me go tomorrow but I don't want to stop seeing you. So... Would you maybe like to go on a date with me?"

"A date?" She thought for a moment. No guy really had ever asked her out on a date before. "Okay." She agreed. "But do you think we could maybe wait a week or so?"

"...Sure?" Andy was a little confused. "Have something going on?"

"Uh, yeah... I have something going on... Oh, I have to go. Someone is paging me. I'll be back later on, Andy." She turned and hurried out the door.

That was the second lie she had told him today. She knew she couldn't keep lying to him like that. He was bound to find out her secret sooner or later. She went back to the nurses' station to sit and just think about how she was going to pull this date off without Andy finding out.

"Hey, Sophie. What's up?" He charge nurse, Anna, greeted her.

"Hi, Anna..." Sophie sat down in a chair next to her.

"What's wrong, buttercup?" Anna asked.

"I need you to let me work a double shift this week." Sophie begged.

"Sophie... That's way too much. I can't let you over work yourself. What do you need the extra money for?"

Sophie sighed. "I need to buy some nice clothes. A guy asked me on a date and I want to look nice for him and impress him."

Anna put her arm around Sophie. "Tell you what. Come over and pick out whatever you want from my closet."

Sophie smiled. "Are you sure?"

"Of course. Now go home and get some rest."

"But my shift isn't over-"

"I know. You need some rest, I can tell."

Sophie gave Anna a hug, grabbed her bag and went down the hallway to stop at Andy's room before she left to go to the one place she hated most.

'Home.'


	2. Promise me

She stood outside the gold emblazoned building with the doorman as her only company. With Anna's help, she picked out a short but sweet red v-neck dress.

"You're that girl that lives around the corner, right?" The doorman asked.

"Yeah," Sophie said. "I'm just waiting for my date."

"He doesn't know?"

Sophie shook her head. "I really just want to impress him. I don't want to scare him off."

"Understandable." The doorman said. "Is that him there?" He pointed to the sleek black car that had pulled up to the curb.

Sophie watched Andy get out of the car and walk up the steps towards her. "Yes." She smiled.

"Wow, you look amazing." Andy said. "I've never seen you in anything other than scrubs."

Sophie blushed and smiled.

"You ready?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, let's go." Sophie took the hand he had extended for her and allowed him to lead her to the car.

He opened her door for her and she slid into the black leather seat. Sophie had never been in such an expensive looking car. Andy got in on his side, started the car and drove off down the street.

The first few minutes were silent. Sophie didn't know what to say. What did people talk about on dates? She figured she would just sit there quietly and let Andy focus on the winding, busy street ahead of him.

"So, you like music?" Andy asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Huh? Oh... Uh..." Sophie hesitated. "Yeah, music is cool."

"Yeah? What type do you like?" Andy glanced over at her.

Now what was she supposed to say? She really liked Andy a lot and she didn't want to fuck things up with him not even fifteen minutes into their date.

"Oh, you know... Pretty much anything. I can find something I like in everything." Sophie lied.

"Huh, okay. Well, maybe you'll like this." Andy reached over and turned the volume on the stereo up.

Sophie listened to the drum beats, the pulsing bass, the guitar riffs and the sound of the singer's voice mixing together and creating a sound that she instantly fell in love with.

"Who is this?" She pointed to the stereo.

"Kiss." Andy said.

"Wait... Kiss?" Sophie was slightly taken aback. Did he just demand she kiss him?

"Yeah...?" Andy looked at her as if she had two heads. "You don't know who Kiss is?"

Sophie shook her head.

"They're only one of the best rock bands ever." Andy explained.

"Oh..." Now she understood. "Hey, where are we going exactly?"

"You'll see." Andy said as he pulled into an empty parking lot and parked the car.

Andy got out and walked around to the other side to help Sophie get out.

"Okay, close your eyes." Andy said.

"Wait, what?" Sophie got nervous.

"Close your eyes. Just trust me."

Sophie sighed as Andy held both her hands and she closed her eyes. Andy gently pulled on her hands and she let him lead her in any direction he pleased.

"Okay, we're going up stairs now." He warned. "I just don't want you to trip. But don't worry, we're almost there."

"Okay, Andy, okay." Sophie smiled and even though she couldn't see it, he smiled too.

It was almost like a reflex. He couldn't help but smile every time he saw her smile. She was even more beautiful when she smiled.

He led her to the top of the stairs and to the middle of the platform they were standing on.

"Okay, open your eyes." Andy said.

When Sophie opened her eyes, she saw that they were above the city. The city lights glowed bright against the dark sky. It was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. She never knew that the city could hold such wonder and be so beautiful.

"Andy, it's..." She couldn't find the words to finish the sentence.

Andy sat down on the concrete and Sophie joined him, laying down on her back to look up at the stars. She tugged on the sleeve of Andy's leather jacket and he laid down, putting his head next to hers.

"See that right there? The 'W' shape in the sky?" Sophie pointed out the stars that created the shape. "That's the constellation Cassiopeia; the queen. And right next to her? That's the king. See, it kind of looks like an upside down house." Sophie explained.

"Oh, yeah. I see it. That's cool. How do you know that?" Andy looked over at her.

"I took a class in high school," She said, keeping her eyes fixed on the stars. "And I look up at the sky at night a lot." She looked over at him.

She stared into his perfect, ice blue eyes. She studied his face carefully as if it would be the last time she would ever see him and she didn't want to forget what his every feature looked like.

He looked down at her small pink lips and pressed his against them. She felt her eyes slip close and his warm breath on her neck. It was like pure ecstasy.

He pulled away and looked at her. "Promise me that we can do this again?"

She smiled. "Promise."


	3. I will take this burden on

Andy pulled up to the curb. "Did you have a good time tonight?" He asked.

Sophie smiled. "Yeah, it was really nice."

"Can I pick you up again tomorrow?"

"Sure." She said without even thinking it through. She would pick a date with Andy over anything else. She reached over to unbuckle her seat belt.

"Hey, let me walk you in." Andy offered.

"No!" Sophie exclaimed. "I mean... No, it's... it's okay. I can manage." She went to reach for the door handle.

"Wait," Andy stopped her.

She turned to look at him, her blonde hair whipping around in an elegant fashion and smacking the window behind her. Andy didn't say anything more. He just leaned in towards her and out of instinct, she did the same.

As their lips got closer, he felt her hesitation. He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek. At that, she closed the gap between their lips.

"Okay," She broke the kiss. "I better go. I'll see you tomorrow."

She got out of the car and walked up the huge marble stairs to the big gold building. She got to the door and looked back to make sure Andy was gone.

"Have a good time?" The doorman asked.

"Yeah," Sophie said. "He wants to take me out again tomorrow."

"This boy must really like you." The doorman observed.

Sophie shrugged. "He wouldn't like me if he knew..." She trailed off.

"Well, since I assume I'll be seeing you tomorrow, what's your name?"

"Sophie."

"That's very pretty."The doorman complimented. "You can just call me Ralph."

Sophie smiled. "Goodnight, Ralph." She turned and began to walk away from the building.

"Goodnight, Sophie." He called after her.

She walked down the steps and a few yards down before turning into an empty alleyway with a single cardboard box pushed up against the wall. She crawled in the box and wrapped the threadbare blanket around her.

She looked up at the nighttime sky and sighed. "Welcome home, Sophie. Welcome home..."

*******

Work had been brutal that day. She had a few unruly patients and now she had to go home to her cardboard box. She knew Andy was picking her up in a few hours but she couldn't help but allow her eyelids to slip shut.

Just a few minutes. She told herself. Just a little power nap.

She placed her head down on the cold concrete ground and instantly fell asleep.

When Andy arrived at the gold building, Sophie wasn't outside so he walked up the big steps and through the glass door.

Andy approached the woman at the front desk. "Hi, uh, I'm looking for a Sophie Allsop?"

The woman typed the name into her computer and frowned. "I'm sorry. There isn't anyone here by that name."

"Wait, are you sure?"

The woman nodded. "I'm sorry, sir. Maybe you have the wrong place."

Andy shoved his hands in his pockets. "Huh. Maybe... Thanks anyway..." He turned and walked out the door towards his car.

"Oh, you there!" The doorman called after him.

Andy turned to look at him.

"You're looking for Sophie, right?"

"Yeah," Andy walked up a few steps. "You know where she is?"

"Down the street, first alley on your left." The doorman pointed in the direction he should go.

"Alley?" Andy asked himself and then looked up at the doorman. "Thank you."

Andy turned and skipped down the last few steps. He walked down the busy sidewalk and came to the first alley on his left. He turned in and looked around. There only seemed to be a cardboard box and a pile of blankets. But suddenly, the pile of blankets moved slightly.

Andy walked closer and saw Sophie, asleep, under the blankets. "Sophie?" He knelt down next to her and gently touched her cheek.

Her eyes shot open and she sat up. "Andy!" She jumped back from him a little. "Oh my god..." She stood up and started to run from him.

"Wait!" Andy stood up as well and ran after her. "Sophie, stop!" He grabbed her hand and spun her around to face him. "Why didn't you tell me?" Andy looked hurt.

Tears began to stream down Sophie's face. "I-I didn't want you to know! I'm sorry, I-I just..."

"What? Tell me. It's okay."

"I didn't want you to think of me any differently because of it. I just wanted you to like me, Andy!" She started to cry harder.

"Sophie, I do like you! This doesn't make me like you any less." He pulled her into a hug. "I've been keeping something from you, too..." Andy admitted.

She pulled out of the hug to look up at him.

"I'm a rock star..." He continued. "I'm in a band. We're going on tour in a few weeks. Come with us! I'll take care of you!"

Sophie shook her head. "No, no, Andy. I couldn't do that to you. I don't want to be a burden."

"I can't just leave you here to live like this. Come on, I'm taking you home with me. Go grab what you need from the alley." Andy insisted.

Sophie wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you." She whispered into his ear before going to grab the few things she needed from the alley.


	4. Sleepover

It was just average. Andy's house looked like any normal house. Nothing fancy and it was located in a normal little neighborhood.

Andy led Sophie through the doorway into the living room. She set her stuff down on the couch since she assumed that's where she would be sleeping.

"Oh, do you want to put that in my room?" Andy asked.

"…Why?" Sophie asked.

She made sure she constantly had her guard up around Andy. She learned never to trust anyone from living on the streets. She wanted to trust Andy but she couldn't get herself to allow it.

"Well, I just figured you would be more comfortable in the bed. I can sleep on the couch if you want." Andy offered.

"Oh…" Sophie looked down at her patched up bag. "No, that's okay. I'll be alright on the couch. I'm used to sleeping on concrete anyway. It'll be a nice little upgrade." She laughed a little to herself to try and make the mood a little lighter.

"Okay." Andy said. "Let me go grab a couple of blankets and pillows for you. Do you want clothes to sleep in or do you have some?"

Sophie thought for a moment. A chance to sleep in Andy's clothes? To have his sweet scent surrounding her as she drifted to sleep? How could she pass up such an offer?

"Sure, clothes would be nice." She answered. "If you don't mind, that is." She quickly added.

Andy chuckled. "No problem at all, m'lady."

He turned to head up stairs to get her the things she needed. When he returned, he found her lying down on the couch.

"Hey, you awake?" He knelt down in front of her.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just really tired and this couch is so much more comfortable than a cardboard box." She sat up and he sat down next to her.

"Well, take these to change into and I'll set your bed up, okay?" He put the clothes in her lap.

"Okay." She agreed.

She stood up and started heading towards the bathroom but stopped in her tracks and turned around.

"You know, Andy, you're really nice. Thank you for doing all this for me." She smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back.

"It's the least I could do." He responded.

When she had returned, Andy had set up her bed on the couch and sat there waiting for her.

"Wow, you look better in my t-shirt than I do." Andy commented.

Sophie blushed.

"Well, you're tired." Andy continued. "I guess I will see you in the morning, then."

He debated with himself on whether or not he should kiss her goodnight.

Before he could even decide, she leaned over and pecked him lightly on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Andy." She smiled.

******

Tossing, turning, tossing, turning. No matter what she did, she couldn't fall asleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw a skull with blood pouring out of its eye sockets. She couldn't shake the image away. She wanted to sleep but the skull wouldn't let her.

She sat up and looked around the dark room. The couch springs squeaked as she pulled the blankets off herself and slowly stood up.

The stairs creaked as she tried to carefully make her way up them. It was as if the house knew she was trying to be quiet but it didn't want her to.

She reached the top of the stairs and headed down the hallway to the only room with the door closed; the one she assumed was Andy's.

She placed her hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. She looked in to see Andy fast asleep in the bed. She walked over and pulled back the covers before snuggling into Andy's bed with him.

He turned over at the feeling of extra weight on one side and saw Sophie lying there next to him.

"Something wrong?" He asked in a groggy, tired yet quite sexy voice.

Sophie shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. Bad dream." She explained.

Andy shifted himself over closer to her. "It's okay." He said. "Just close your eyes. I got you. You're safe with me." He kissed her temple and then put his head back down on the pillow.

She snuggled into him and breathed him in. Having him actually next to her was so much better. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to slip under into blissful darkness.


	5. Two is better than one...right?

The boys hadn't seen Andy since the hospital and now with just a few days before tour, they decided he needed a night out. All four guys squeezed into Ashley's small car and made their way over to Andy's house. It was already ten-thirty so Andy was most likely up by now.

Ashley pulled into the driveway and parked the car before getting out and following the rest of the guys to the front door. Andy never locked his door so the guys were able to get in easily.

"Ready?" Ashley asked. "One... Two..."

"Three!" CC finished and they burst through the door and piled into the large living room.

It was eerily quiet, even for Andy, a guy who lives alone.

"Andy?" Ashley called out.

No response.

"Well, he's definitely here. His car is in the driveway." Jinxx said.

"Maybe for some odd reason, he's still asleep?" Jake suggested.

"Huh, maybe..." Ashley pondered. "Follow me, guys."

Ashley turned and headed up the stairs and down the hallway towards Andy's room; the guys following behind. Ashley jogged down the hall and threw the door to Andy's room open.

"Andy, what the fu- Oh, god! Oh my god! I'm sorry!" Ashley backed out of the room.

"Ashley, get the fuck back in here!" Andy called out. "We're both decent and we're not even doing anything, you prick! Jesus..."

Ashley walked back in the room with CC, Jinxx and Jake trailing behind.

"Guys, what the fuck are you all doing here?" Andy sat up in bed and Sophie did the same.

"We're taking you out tonight!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Hi, who are you?" CC said to Sophie.

Clearly, no one else seemed to care she was just awkwardly sitting there.

"Oh, I'm Sophie. Hi." She said shyly.

"Well, Sophie. I'm CC, that's Jake and Jinxx and as you probably figured out, that's Ashley."

"Oh, hi." She nodded at them.

"We're the rest of Andy's band." CC explained.

"Out?" Andy tried to get back on topic. "I mean, do I have to?" Andy complained.

"Oh, come on, Andy. You can take Sophie along if you want. It's one of our last few nights before tour. Please?" Ashley begged.

Andy looked over at Sophie who just shrugged.

"I don't mind." She said. "I've never actually been 'out' before."

"What?!" Ashley exclaimed. "Why, you haven't lived."

Andy shook his head and rested it in his hands. "Okay, okay, fine. We'll go out."

*******

The lights flashed all different colors and there were people everywhere. The music was so loud, it felt like the thumping bass went right through her body.

She sat at a booth with Andy and Jinxx. Ashley was dancing with some half-dressed, blonde chick and CC went with Jake to get drinks.

"This is all so different!" Sophie shouted over the music.

"You've never been to a club before?" Jinxx asked.

Sophie shook her head.

Before long, CC and Jake returned to the booth each carrying a tray full of drinks.

"Shots!" CC shouted as he placed his tray down next to Jake's.

Everyone took one and tipped it back except for Sophie.

"What's wrong? Don't drink?" Andy leaned closer to her so she could hear him.

"No, I've never had alcohol before. I don't know how to take a shot." She admitted.

"Here, let's take one together." Andy picked up two more shot glasses and handed one to her. "All you gotta do is tip it back and swallow. Simple, right?" Andy smiled at her and she nodded.

"Ready? One, two, three!" They tipped their shot glasses back together.

Sophie winced as the liquid burned her throat and she started coughing. "Oh, god, what the fuck was that?" She put her glass down on the table and clutched her chest.

Andy chuckled. "Whiskey." He said.

"Ugh, that's horrible." She made a face and Andy laughed some more.

"Shots!" Two new voices that she didn't recognize shouted. They almost sounded...British?

Sophie looked over to see two guys, both with light brown hair and one with a beard.

"Hey, Danny! Ben!" Andy greeted them. "Sophie, this is Danny Worsnop and Ben Bruce. They're in a band called Asking Alexandria. They'll be going on tour with us." Andy introduced her to them.

She looked at Danny and gave him a slight nod. Then her eyes traveled to Ben. There was something strange about him and when their eyes met, something clicked. He must have felt it too because he smiled this sweet half smile at her.

Sure, she liked Andy but who said she couldn't like two guys? Two is better than one...right?


	6. We can leave it all behind

"Can you please just cover for me, Anna?" Sophie pleaded into the receiver.

 _"Three months, though? Sophie, I can't cover for you for that long."_ Anna responded.

Sophie sighed. "Well… just tell them I'm deathly ill or… I'm pregnant, I don't care. Someth-"

"You're pregnant?!"

Sophie whipped around to see Andy standing there, wide eyed and jaw practically on the floor.

"No! No, no, no! Just…Hush, I'll explain in a minute." She said to him and then put the phone back to her ear. "Listen, I gotta go. We're going to be getting on the bus in a few minutes. I'll call you later and we'll talk about this."

After Anna had said goodbye, she hung up and looked at Andy who still had a look of shock plastered on his face.

"But we didn't even… That means you… Huh?" Andy tried to figure it all out.

"Just calm down, Andy. I'm not pregnant, okay? I was just suggesting excuses that my friend could use to explain my absence from work."

Andy let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Oh, thank god. Do you want me to have Jon sort all that out for you? I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, grab your stuff and let's get on the bus. I'll call him once we're on the road."

She picked up her small bag and followed Andy outside to the huge tour bus awaiting them. She skipped up the steps behind Andy and followed him down the hall to the bunks.

"That's my bunk." Andy pointed to the bottom bunk on the left side of the hallway. "Do you want the one right across from me?" He asked.

"Uh, sure." She said and pulled back the curtain to throw her bag inside.

She followed Andy back to the front of the bus. "Andy, I have a question." Sophie said as Andy plopped himself down on the leather couch, motioning her to sit down next to him.

"What's up?" He replied, putting an arm around her when she sat down.

"Are we going to, like, 'party' with Asking Alexandria again during tour?" She hoped he wouldn't ask why because she really didn't want him to know about her liking Ben and also because she had no other reason or excuse as to why she wanted to see them.

"Oh," Andy began. "Well, yeah, we'll probably party with them once in a while but they can get a little out of control sometimes."

"What do you mean?" Sophie inquired.

"Well…" Andy sighed. "Sometimes they like to go farther than a bunch of drinks and a couple of cigarettes."

"Like what?" Sophie pushed him to say more.

"Well, what I've heard is they take shit to get high. Like prescription pills."

The last two words out of his mouth paralyzed her. She had another secret she was keeping from Andy. Prescription pills were her weakness.

Back home, she would buy them off people on the street and, once in a while, take some from the medicine closet at the hospital.

That's why she was homeless. All her money went towards buying more pills. She couldn't stop herself. She was addicted.

"Sophie? Are you okay?" Andy tried to snap her out of her trance.

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry." She said.

"We're moving!" Andy cheered as the bus lurched away from the space it was parked in.

Sophie realized she must've been completely zoned out because she didn't even notice the rest of the guys get on the bus.

Sophie vowed to herself she wouldn't do pills on this tour for Andy's sake. She promised herself she would quit. A new city; a new life. She told herself she would leave it all behind.


	7. Nightmare

_She walked in through the door and towards the kitchen where she found her mother shooting up heroin and her dad snorting cocaine again. She rolled her eyes at them and continued through to the hallway but her dad called her back._

_"Get me a beer, bitch." He ordered._

_She sighed, putting her bag down and going to the refrigerator to get her father the beer he demanded._

_"You shouldn't be drinking while doing this. You're going to end up killing yourself." She warned him as she placed the bottle down on the table._

_"I don't give a fuck." He said before popping the cap off and taking a large swig._

_Her parents were never going to listen to her so she continued down the hallway to her room, picking up her bag on the way there._

_After a few hours had gone by, the house became eerily quiet. She opened her bedroom door slowly and poked her head out._

_"Mom? Dad?" She called out and received no response._

_She entered the hallway and slowly walked down to the kitchen. When she turned the corner, she saw her mother in a heap on the floor and her father slumped over in his chair. Both of them were unconscious._

_"God, I fucking told them this would happen." She rushed over to her mother's side to find she wasn't breathing. Her father wasn't either._

_She ran over to the counter and grabbed the phone, dialing 9-1-1 and pressing the phone to her ear. Ten minutes later, there was the sound of sirens and red flashing lights coming from outside the window._

"Sophie, wake up! It's Andy!" Andy gently shook her awake.

Sophie opened her eyes to see Andy looking down at her. She sat up and let him wrap his arms around her.

"Tell me what happened." He stroked her hair as she clung to him. "I heard you screaming and crying in your sleep. What did you dream about?"

"My parents... It was like a nightmare memory. Everything that happened in my dream happened in real life. I came home from school one day to find my parents doing drugs again. A few hours later, I walk out of my room and find both of them dead. They both overdosed..." She trailed off and began crying again at the memory.

Andy just held her and stroked her hair, humming a little melody to her to try and calm her down. CC and Jake came in the room and sat with her, trying to comfort her as much as possible. They had heard her screaming and crying, too.

"Maybe we should refrain from 'partying'." Andy suggested. "Especially with Danny, Ben and the rest of them."

Sophie shook her head violently. "No! I want to see them! I want to have fun, please! Anything to get my mind off this. I'm begging you. I need a distraction."

The guys looked at one another with skeptical glances. "Well, okay." Andy sighed. "Anything for you." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Let me go call Danny and see what they're up to tonight."


	8. Wasted

“Stay by my side.” Andy ordered. “I don’t want you getting into any trouble. I know how Danny’s band can be with girls.”

“Andy, I can take care of myself.” Sophie assured him. “I’ve been doing it on the streets for years.”

He felt a pang in his chest at her words. Just knowing she had lived like that for so long upset him. He knew there was nothing he could have done then but he knew he could do something now. He wanted to make sure she was always protected. He never wanted to leave her side.

They walked down the row of buses and turned at Asking Alexandria’s bus to find them sitting around a small fire pit and tables covered with every type of alcoholic beverage known to man.

“Holy shit.” Andy looked around at all the bottles on the table. “I’m going to get so shit-faced if someone doesn’t watch out for me.”

“Hey, Andy and the Black Veil Brides are here! Now we can really get this party started!” Danny walked over to Andy and handed him a beer.

Andy looked at the beer hesitantly.

“Oh, come on, Biersack. We’re here to have fun! Drink up, mate!”

Andy shrugged, popping the cap off. “Oh, what’s one drink, right?”

Four beers, three cigarettes and many different other drinks later, Andy was wasted and Sophie knew it. This was her chance to sneak back to the bus and pop a few pills that she had stashed away in her bunk. She had told herself she would refrain from doing this but she couldn’t help it. The temptation was overwhelming. When she thought no one was looking, she slipped behind the bus—out of sight.

“Where you off to so soon?” A voice startled her.

“Oh, Ben… It’s just you. You scared me.” She said, breathlessly.

“And you didn’t answer my question.” He replied. “I thought you were quite the partier. That’s what Andy’s band mates seemed to say anyway.”

She shrugged. “I guess I’m not into it tonight.”

“I think I can fix that.” Ben said suggestively and took her by the hand, leading her down the row of buses deeper into the dark where no one could see them.

Sophie began to worry. Andy, Danny and the rest of the guys were too intoxicated to comprehend anything and now she was alone with Ben. There was no telling what he could do to her. Andy had even warned her earlier about the guys.

When they finally stopped walking, Sophie looked around and saw only empty parking lot surrounding her. Ben sat down on the cold asphalt and motioned for her to sit down with him.

He pulled out a plastic bag from his pocket which contained many colorful pills of all shapes and sizes. Sophie’s eyes widened. This was just the fix she needed. Ben handed her a couple pills and watched as she hungrily tossed them in her mouth and swallowed them dry.

“Something tells me this isn’t your first time.” Ben observed.

Sophie gave him a sly smile as she held her hand out for a few more.


	9. Dry your eyes, you'll be okay

The last thing she remembered was pressing her lips against his, feeling the cool metal of the rings in his lips. Then, her mind went dark. She was no longer in control.

Ben watched her stand, take a few steps, stumble, and fall on her hands and knees. He wasn't as high as she was, so he helped her off the ground, took her by the hand and led her back to where the rest of the group was.

This girl went hardcore. She was intense with the drugs and Ben began to think. Maybe he could get her to do more. With him. He needed a drug buddy and she was pretty. She was pretty; which made it harder for him to not take advantage of her.

Ben had his sight set on his band's bus, just a few yards away, when he heard Sophie start to cry. He stopped walking and turned to face her.

"Why are you crying? Are you hurt?" He asked, searching her glazed-over eyes for any sign of comprehension.

"Andy." She whimpered. "I want Andy."

"We'll be back soon so dry your eyes. You'll be okay." Ben said and continued walking, pulling her along behind him. It was slightly harsh, but he knew she wouldn't remember, nor did she probably care at the moment. She was too high to comprehend anything.

Sophie stumbled behind Ben the whole way. When they turned the corner to go around to the back of the bus, Jake, surprisingly the only sober one there, rushed at them and scooped Sophie into his arms.

"Sophie! There you are! Andy was worried about you. We all were."

"Andy?" She smiled. "Where is Andy?" She looked around as if she was trying to find him.

"He's back on the bus." Jake explained. "As should you be. Come on, let's get you in bed. You're completely smashed."

****

Sophie woke up the next morning with a huge headache and no memory of what happened the night before. She pulled back the curtain to her bunk and stepped out into the hallway. It seemed everyone else was still asleep. Everyone except Jake, who stood in the kitchen, pouring himself some coffee.

He looked up at the sound of her soft footsteps and gave her a weak smile. "Hey." He said.

"Hi." She greeted back, rubbing her eyes. "What happened last night?" She wondered aloud.

Jake looked at her with wide eyes. "You really don't remember what happened?"

She shook her head.

Jake brought a hand to his forehead and shook his head as well. "You were way more smashed than I thought..."

"Jake, tell me what happened. I didn't do anything stupid, did I?" She asked, worried.

"I don't know, Sophie. We got to the party and about an hour later, you went off with Ben somewhere. None of us could find you anywhere. When you came back, you were completely shit-faced."

"Oh, no, I remember that. Going off with Ben, I mean."

"How much did you drink last night? I've never seen anyone look as bad as you did last night."

"I didn't drink anything last night." She said automatically and then realized what she had said. "I mean... I don't remember...?"

Jake opened his mouth to say something but Andy's voice coming from the bunks interrupted him. "Sophie?"

"Andy... He's not too happy with you right now." Jake warned.

She sighed, reaching up to the cabinet and pulling out the bottle of aspirin pills. She knew the last thing she needed was more pills but this headache was overwhelming. She just needed the pounding inside her head to go away.

Sophie just wanted to disappear altogether. She wanted to go back to her cardboard box in the city alleyway. That sounded better than going to face angry Andy. What was she even supposed to say to him?

She pushed the door to the bunk area open and stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She saw Andy standing there and braced herself for the yelling. But instead, she felt two strong arms wrap around her and pull her in.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Andy said with relief filling his tone of voice. "I thought I had lost you." He hugged her tighter.

She wrapped her arms around him as well. "I'm right here, Andy. I'm right here."


	10. Good news, bad news

The next few days were better. She hadn't seen Ben since that night. She had sobered up since then and stayed clean. But it was getting harder each day to fight it. The monster inside of her begged to be fed. She was going crazy without it. Her hands would start shaking and all she could do was sleep it off. But sleeping it off could only go so far. She could only sleep for so long.

Andy had said no more parties for a few weeks and Sophie didn't know how much longer she could take it. If this is what getting clean is like, she knew she didn't want to quit anytime soon.

She sat in the living room, debating with herself on if she should sneak a couple pills just to get the temptation off her back; but Jinxx waltzed in with a dreamy look on his face.

"Hey, Jinxx. What's up?" Sophie attempted to make small talk to get her mind off the pills in her bunk.

Jinxx sighed. "My beautiful wife is coming to stay with us for a few weeks!" He sat down on the couch next to Sophie.

"Sammi is coming?" Andy walked out and sat down on the other side of Sophie, putting his arm around her.

"I'm going to pick her up in an hour." Jinxx informed them.

"Why don't you take Sophie with you?" Andy suggested. "You could use some time outside. You haven't left the bus for almost a week. Whenever I go to ask you if you want to come to our set, you're always asleep." He stroked her long blonde hair and she rolled her blue eyes at him.

"I don't know, Andy..." She objected. "I--"

"Sammi would love to meet you. You girls can get acquainted on the way back to the venue and maybe hang out together. I think having her around will be good. Have some more estrogen around here."Jinxx encouraged her to go.

She didn't want to leave the bus because that meant the possibility of seeing Ben. It's not that she didn't want to see Ben. She was worried about what she would do if she [i]did[/i] see him.

"Oh, alright." She finally agreed. "Let me go get decent looking."

"You're always beautiful, dollface." Andy called after her.

Once she had disappeared into the bathroom, Andy turned to see Jinxx wearing a mask of worry.

"What's wrong?" Andy questioned.

"I'm worried about her, Andy." Jinxx replied. Andy gave Jinxx a confused look and he continued. "Running away with Ben that night and coming back looking more than drunk? And I've woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and hear her crying. I'm really worried about her. Who knows what Ben did to her that night and who knows what she's doing in her bunk at night."

"She doesn't have cuts on her wrists." Andy defended. "She's not cutting. I don't want to believe that."

"She could be cutting in other places..." JInxx trailed off. "I think having Sammi around for a few weeks will be good. Maybe if they build a really good girlfriend relationship, Sophie will tell her something that she's too scared to tell you or any of us."

Andy thought for a minute, then nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right..."

The door hinges squeaked as she pushed the bathroom door open and walked down the hallway back towards Andy and Jinxx.

"You ready to go?" Jinxx asked.

"Yeah, I believe so." She said and reached up to tousle her hair a bit, causing her shirt to lift up and reveal her protruding hip bones and flat stomach.

Andy couldn't help but look and quickly regretted it when he saw exactly what he never wanted to see. All over her stomach, there were light scars. Her right hip had one long cut across it that looked new and her left hip was covered with a square piece of gauze, secured to her skin with medical tape. He averted his eyes before she could catch him staring.

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving with Jinxx to go to the airport to get Sammi. Andy only hoped Sammi could get Sophie to confess something to her. Otherwise, he was going to have to risk everything and confront her himself.


	11. The webs we weave

"Baby!" Sammi ran towards Jinxx, her pink suitcase trailing behind her. She let go and jumped into his arms.

Sophie just stood there awkwardly, not really sure what to do.

"This is Sophie." Jinxx pulled away from Sammi and introduced her to their newest 'member'.

To Sophie's surprise, Sammi scooped her up in a hug as well. "Ooh, another girl on tour!" Sammi squealed. "This is going to be so fun!"

Sophie laughed at Sammi's over excitement. Jinxx walked behind Sammi and grabbed her suitcase before leading the girls out to the car so they could return to the bus.

"Are you Andy's girl?" Sammi asked Sophie once they were in the car.

"Oh, um, no, not really." Sophie looked down at her lap.

"Oh, sure you are." Jinxx glanced back at her in the rear view mirror. "Andy saved her life." He informed Sammi.

"Aw, that Andy." She mused.

Sophie nodded but didn't know what to say. She appreciated everything Andy had done for her but something kept bringing her mind back to Ben and it wasn't the drugs.

The rest of the car ride back was painfully silent. Not even the radio was playing. Once they boarded the bus, the rest of the guys rushed out of their hiding places and tackled Sammi in a group hug.

Sophie felt a little bit of jealousy come over her. She had been living with the boys on this cramped bus for over a month and none of them seemed to care about her that much. In fact, some of them still felt like strangers to her. Even Andy was starting to become distant.

At first, she thought maybe it was her fault. She [i]had[/i] been spending more time with Ben than the BVB guys. And after Andy had said no more partying, she realized she hadn't even made an effort to try and hang out with them. But she refused to think this was her fault and it didn't even cross her mind that this could be the drugs taking over her life.

"Earth to Sophie?" Andy waved a hand in front of her face and she snapped out of her day dream state.

"I'm sorry," She said. "I was just... Thinking..."

Andy gave her a sympathetic smile. "Well, the guys and I have a show. You don't mind staying here with Sammi, do you?"

"Oh, no, I don't mind at all." Sophie half smiled. She was still a little jealous of Sammi. She was beautiful and well-liked. She appeared to be perfect and it just wasn't fair.

"I would go out and see the show tonight and cheer on our boys but the flight here was really tiring." Sammi explained. "But this is good because now we can have some girl time!"

Jinxx gave Sammi a quick kiss goodbye and followed the rest of the group off the bus.

Sammi grabbed onto Sophie's hand and sat down on the couch, pulling Sophie down with her.

"Okay, spill it. What's his name?" Sammi asked.

Sophie looked at her like she had three heads. "What are you talking about?"

"It's obvious you like someone that isn't Andy. I could tell by how you acted in the car and it's obviously who you were thinking about when you zoned out on us a few minutes ago. So? Who is he? What's his name? Is he in a band on tour?" Sammi shot out questions left and right.

"Okay..." Sophie gave in. "His name is Ben."

"Ben? As in Ben Bruce of Asking Alexandria?"

Sophie nodded and kept her eyes down at her lap, unsure of how Sammi would react.

"He's mega cute. I approve." Sammi said. "But Andy doesn't know, does he?"

Sophie sighed. "No... None of the guys know... And they can't. I don't want Andy to be hurt."

"You know...Andy is going to be even more hurt if you don't tell him and he finds out another way. Maybe you should tell him..." Sammi advised.

"But what if he kicks me off the bus? I'll have nowhere to go..." Sophie worried aloud.

Sammi pulled her into a hug. "I promise I will never let that happen. If he does that, you can come and stay with me, deal?"

Sophie nodded against Sammi's shoulder. This web of secrets was just getting bigger and bigger.


	12. Avoidance

Days had gone by and Sophie still hadn't told Andy yet, despite Sammi's constant persisting. She couldn't bring herself to it. Every time she went to go tell him, she made something else up and got further and further away from telling the truth.

Ben hadn't even made any attempt to call or text her, let alone see her. She figured what ever they had going on was over and she could focus on Andy from now on. Andy really cared about her and Ben--well... he didn't appear to.

Sammi sat down on the couch next to Sophie. "Get ready, we're going somewhere." She ordered.

"What are you talking about?" Sophie asked. "Where are we going?"

"Soph. You haven't left this bus for days. You need to get out. I'm taking you to see the boy's set. I know for a fact that Andy really wants you to be there." She gave Sophie a little wink and nudged her side.

Sophie shook her head. There was a reason she hadn't left the bus in so long. She didn't want to see Ben. She didn't like the feeling of two guys liking her and she most definitely did not want to have to tell Andy about her feelings for Ben.

"I can't..." Sophie trailed off.

Sammi pouted. "Why not?"

"I have to clean the bus." Sophie came up with a quick but lame excuse. The bus was already spotless because cleaning was all she did all day. The boys had never had a cleaner tour bus in history.

"That's not the reason." Sammi accused. "You can't keep hiding in the bus. Think of Andy. Think of how happy it would make him to see you cheering him on at the side of the stage."

Sophie looked down at her lap, wringing her hands together. She did want to make Andy happy. And who knows, maybe Ben wouldn't even be there.

"Okay, let's go..." Sophie stood up and unwillingly followed Sammi out the bus and to the stage.

As soon as her feet hit the pavement, Sophie knew she was going to regret this. The two girls began walking towards the stage and Sophie saw the door to Asking Alexandria's bus swing open. She spotted a familiar head of shaggy auburn hair.

She knew this was going to happen.


	13. Can't promise that things won't be broken

Sophie stopped. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Ben. She really did. It was just that she was really trying to stay clean for Andy and Ben was making it hard on her.

His looks, his sex appeal, his sweet words and most importantly his drugs. It was all so tempting and Sophie was torn. She knew Andy would be upset with her if she didn't sober up but she didn't want to lose Ben either.

She put her finger to her lips to tell Sammi to be as quiet as possible. The two girls slowed their pace and kept walking to the stage but managed to stay behind Ben as far away as possible. Their plan had been working. He hadn't noticed them behind him yet until a tree branch snapped under Sammi's foot.

"Shit." Sophie muttered to herself.

Ben turned around and smiled when he saw Sophie there. He really did like her, after all. "Hey, Sophie. Long time no see, eh?"

"Yeah, yeah, Sammi's been keeping me occupied since she got here." Sophie explained. It was half true, anyway.

"Oh, right." He nodded in understanding. "Well, are you two off to see Andy and the guys play? Danny and I were just on our way over there."

"Actually yeah, we were." Sophie said.

"Awesome," Ben took her by the hand. "Let's go!"

****

"Please promise me you won't get into any more trouble while I'm gone. Okay?" Sammi looked Sophie straight in the eyes.

"I'll try my best, Sammi. I really will, okay?" Sophie responded. Trying was the best she could do at this point. She hated making promises about her addiction because she knew the promise would always be broken.

"That's the best I'm going to get?" Sammi pouted.

Sophie laughed slightly. "I'm sorry, Sammi. I just... I can't promise. I would hate to break another promise. What I can promise is that I'll try. With an addiction like this, there's never any guarantee things will get better."

Sammi nodded. "Okay... Well, I hope I'll see you another time when the boys are done with touring. And next time, if you ever need somewhere to stay, I want you to call me up. I'm not going to let you live on the streets anymore."

Sammi had been what Sophie had always looked for in a friend. Someone who would be there for you whenever you needed them.

When Sophie returned to the venue, she ran into Ben. It was no surprise to her. He must've known Sammi was leaving today and he was probably out looking for her.

"There you are." He said out of breath. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Well," Sophie shrugged. "Here I am."

"Is Sammi gone?" Ben asked, hopeful.

Sophie nodded. "I just got back from the airport."

"Look, Sophie. I really do like you and I don't want this whole relationship we have to be based upon the drugs but... how about we get together in a few hours? My bus? And, uh, get a little twisted?"

It sounded so tempting and the demons inside her mind screamed at her to say yes. They pounded against the walls of her skull and demanded that she take the offer. It was just an offer that they wouldn't let her pass up.


	14. The drugs, they put you to sleep

Ben had given her a parting gift of a bag of drugs for her to take back to the bus with her. Sophie had reluctantly told him about how Andy confiscated all her drugs and now her only way to get a fix was to be with Ben. But Andy was beginning to get suspicious of Sophie always hanging around Ben.

Sophie stumbled her way back to BVB's bus and all she could do was hope Andy and the guys weren't there. Andy would surely be pissed if he saw her in this state.

When she hobbled up the bus steps and into the small living room, it was quiet and she knew that no one else was here. Although she had just had a pretty wild time with Ben, she needed more. Her mind craved it.

She placed the colorful pills one by one on her tongue and chased them down with sips of Vodka. It was bad, and if she was in the right state of mind, she would have known that. But right now, her mind was clouded with the buzz she was receiving and no one was there to stop her.

She turned up the music of the iPod in the dock in the corner of the room and let Black Veil Brides's music fill the silent tour bus. She swayed along to [i]Ritual[/i] as she placed another pill on her tongue and took another long sip of Vodka.

****

"We'd like to thank everyone for coming out to see us tonight! It really means the world to us to see all of our fans singing along to all the songs. You guys were a great crowd tonight!" Andy shouted breathlessly into the microphone.

The crowd cheered as the band walked off stage. Andy tried to get ready to go back to the bus as fast as he possibly could. He hadn't seen Sophie since Sammi left and he wanted to make sure she was doing alright.

He threw his ear piece at a stage hand and ran back to the bus. As he ran, he could sense something was wrong. It was like an alert was going off in his mind.

He burst through the bus doors and found Sophie on the floor. She appeared to be sleeping but as he got closer, he noticed the bag of drugs and the empty bottle of Vodka in her hands. He dropped to his knees beside her and frantically tried to walk her up.

"Sophie! Sophie, wake up! It's Andy! Please..." He shook her lifeless body but her eyes remained closed.

Tears began streaming down his cheeks as he called for someone to help him. He knew the rest of the guys would be back to the bus soon but he needed help now.

After a few minutes, the rest of the guys arrived back at the bus and were just as shocked to see Sophie laying on the floor, blacked out.

"Call 911." Jinxx ordered and Ashley gladly pulled out his phone and dialed the emergency number. "Andy, why didn't you call 911 yet? She could have overdosed!" Jinxx shouted, clearly frustrated with the sobbing rock star.

"I'm sorry, I-...I didn't know what to do! It was like my mind went blank when I saw her lying here and all I could do was cry." Andy explained.

Ashley came back into the room with the phone in his hands. "They said they wouldn't be able to get to us for at least twenty minutes because of how far away we are from the nearest hospital."

"Oh, fuck this." Andy picked up Sophie's body. "We're driving her there ourselves." Andy cuddled Sophie close to him. "Stay with me, Sophie. Please... Don't die on me. You can't leave me." Andy whispered in her ear. They say the last sense to go is hearing and Andy certainly hoped that was correct.


	15. Wake me up and let me know you're alive

The ride to the hospital seemed to take hours and when Sophie was finally admitted, it seemed like another mass amount of time before any progress was made.

Andy sat beside her bed, watching her sleep and holding her hand in his. The rest of the guys had left briefly to let people know what was going on.

The doctor came in after a few minutes to see how Sophie was doing and if she had woken up yet. "Nothing yet?" The doctor frowned slightly.

Andy shook his head solemnly. "Nothing..."

"Maybe you should come back tomorrow." The doctor suggested. He could probably feel the bad energy Andy was giving off from being so frustrated with himself.

"No, I have to stay. I promised myself that I would stay until she woke up." Andy sat back down next to her bedside.

The doctor nodded, respecting Andy's decision. "Well, I'll tell the nurse you're going to stay so she doesn't come to ask you to leave when visiting hours are over."

Andy thanked the doctor and watched him leave the room and turn down the hall to attend to other patients.

"If I had just watched you more carefully, none of this would have happened." Andy said, resting his fist against his forehead. He just wished his fist would go straight through his brain so he wouldn't have to deal with all this anymore. He feared she would never wake up. "This is all my fault. I should've never let you out of my sight. I'm the worst person you've probably ever met."

"You're not." Sophie said, turning her head and opening her eyes to look at Andy.

"I thought... I thought you were asleep." Andy said, shocked. He was embarrassed that she had just heard everything he said.

"I was." She smiled. "But then your voice woke me up and when I heard what you were saying. I knew that you would stop talking if I had woken up and I wanted to see what else you were going to say."

Andy laughed slightly and rolled his eyes. "I'm just glad you're awake now." He smiled. "I was worried about you."

"I could tell." Sophie laughed and sat up in her bed. She kissed Andy's hand and held it in both her hands.

Andy shook his head. He still really hated himself for all the neglect. "I shouldn't have neglected you." He admitted. "After what you told me about your parents and--"

"Andy, it's okay. I'm fine." She assured him. "I just want to go back to the bus and sleep. That's all."

"I promise, I will never let this happen to you again." Andy kissed her before he stood up to go find a nurse and ask her if it was alright to take Sophie back.

Sophie sat in her room alone and waited for Andy. Even she couldn't believe what she had done. Blacking out was one of the scariest things she had ever encountered and she really didn't want it to happen again. The fright of her overdose sent her into a panic. She realized it had scared Andy half to death and she really hadn't wanted to frighten him either. The drug use had to stop and her first mission when she returned was to cut all ties from Ben. No more parties, no more hanging out with him, and no matter how hard it was going to be to resist his adorable face, she was going to power through it.

Andy returned to the room with a wide smile on his face. "They said you can go back with me!" He exclaimed.

A weight was lifted off Sophie at his words and she managed to smile, too. "This is wonderful!"

Andy grabbed her clothes and let her change back into them before leading her out of the building. Her hands were still cold but just knowing her heart was beating was enough to get Andy by for the night. He wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring, but he could only hope that she would wake up the next morning.


	16. I'm insane, I can feel it in my bones

Andy was irate with Ben. He wondered how Ben could go behind his back like that and do this to Sophie. Of course, Andy didn't really know the whole story but Andy had shared his feelings about Sophie with Ben and he'd known about Andy's love for her. He didn't understand why his friend would go behind his back and do something like this. He almost killed her.

_"Ben, is it alright if I talk to you? The guys are getting tired of hearing about it." Andy confided, sitting down on the leather couch next to Ben._

_"Sure, mate. What's going on in the life of Andy?" He said with his irresistible British accent. No wonder Sophie had been so attracted to him."_

_"It's about Sophie. I really like her, dude. But I get the feeling she doesn't really like me the same way. She always seems to be disappearing at night or at parties and I have no idea where she goes. I just get the feeling that she doesn't want to be seen around me or see me at all." Andy felt ashamed and Ben could tell by the way he had just opened up like that._

Ben was smart, though. He knew Andy would be pissed at not only him but Sophie as well if he knew what was going on between them. So, he kept his mouth shut and did the best he could to try and comfort Andy. It wasn't fake, in a sense. He really did care about his friend's feelings but clearly not enough to end his secret relationship with Sophie. She liked the drugs and he needed someone to do them with.

_"I know you're upset, mate, but things will get better. I can talk to her for you if you want. Drop the hint that you're missing her and maybe she'll listen to me. Maybe running away like that is just her nature. You did find her in a city alley, didn't you? Maybe she's afraid. I think you just need to be patient with her. She'll come around." Ben advised._

It was wonderful advice but the sad truth was none of what Ben had agreed to do was done. He never talked to Sophie about Andy and he certainly knew the reason she was running away was not because it was her nature. It was because of Ben and his drugs.

Andy remembered that night clearly in his mind. It made him even more angry to think about how Ben had so easily agreed to do something for him but it was all a complete lie to save his own ass and Sophie. But Andy loved Sophie and cared for her so much that he didn't want to blame her for any of what had happened. The only person he was angry with was Ben.

That night after the show, Andy was walking back to the bus with CC and Ashley. It had been a good show but Andy was still angry with Ben and worried about Sophie. Nothing in his mind was going right and he still felt like everything was out of sync.

It really didn't help that as they turned the corner of Asking Alexandria's bus, standing there outside was Ben. It was as if he was asking for it. Ben knew the guys would be heading back to their bus after the show and he knew they would have to walk by Asking Alexandria's bus.

Ben heard the angry footsteps and turned to see Andy, fists balled by his side and a scowl on his face, walking towards him. "Andy, please let me explain--" Ben began but was cut off by Andy's fist colliding with his nose.

"Shit, Biersack. I just wanted to talk!" Ben exclaimed, holding his bleeding nose.

"You almost killed her, you bastard!" Andy shouted, trying to throw more punches at Ben who shrunk away from Andy's blows.

CC and Ashley grabbed Andy's arms and tried to hold him back from hurting Ben anymore. Andy struggled against their grasp just a little before completely breaking down in tears. His body trembled and the two guys sat him on the cold concrete. Andy was completely broken. He couldn't take it anymore. His friend had betrayed him, the one girl he really loved almost died and now he felt he could no longer control himself anymore.

"Come on, Andy. Let's go back to the bus." CC suggested, picking him up off the ground with Ashley's help. Together, they walked Andy back to the bus.

When they got back, Andy went straight to his bunk. He didn't care to say hi to Sophie or say goodnight to anyone else. He just wanted to go straight to sleep. At this point, sleep was his only means of escape.


	17. Give up, give in.

As Andy had his means of escape, so did Sophie. Now that her drug supplier had been cut off from her, she had no way to feed the addiction. Her mind was doing flips inside her skull from the lack of high. She had voices yelling at her in her mind to find another way to satisfy them and herself. But what else was she supposed to do?

Sophie never asked for a life like this. She never asked to become addicted to drugs and she certainly never asked to be saved by Andy. Although she loved Andy a lot, she sometimes wished that she could just go back to the streets of LA. At least there she was semi-happy with a perfectly good job and even a few friends. Here was like a living hell for her. She knew all Andy was trying to do was be helpful and supportive, but he didn't understand what this kind of addiction was like.

Ever since Sophie heard about Andy's fight with Ben, she's tried to avoid them both. She's been avoiding Ben mostly for Andy's sake and she's been avoiding Andy because she was afraid of him. She was scared that he didn't like her anymore or that he would be upset with her. What she didn't realize was Andy's disappointment in her reflected his feelings of care towards her. He still cared about her a lot and Sophie had never had anyone in her life who cared as much as Andy or even at all.

She began to think back to her past and in her dream one night, she relived the night that ruined her life.

Being the gullible teenager Sophie was, she agreed to tag along when her friends had invited her to a party. They had said there would be no drinking or anything crazy like that. Just a small party so they could socialize with one another. Of course, they had tricked her and when she arrived, it was like a mad house. Kegs everywhere, people shooting, snorting and smoking almost everything in sight, and of course lots of sex.

 _"You guys lied to me!"_ Sophie was upset with her friends at first but as she walked around the huge house, she started to loosen up a bit.

Sophie was always on edge because of her parents' bad addictions and Sophie had told herself she never wanted to be like them.

 _"Hey Soph!"_ Her friend Dillon called to her and waved her over to where he was sitting around a coffee table with a bunch of other kids.

She smiled and waved back at first, and then realized he wanted her to go over and join them. She quickly hurried over and sat herself down next to Dillon.

 _"Want to do a row?"_ He offered as one of the guys across from them snorted up the drugs.

Sophie looked and felt uneasy. This was the path her parents had taken and she knew she shouldn't follow their ways.

 _"Come on,"_ He pressured. _"Just one. And if you don't like it, you don't have to do it again."_

Sophie was always overcome by peer pressure. Naturally, she gave in and did a line. And another line. And another. And another. The next morning, she woke up and found herself passed out on top of Dillon still at the house she had been at last night. Looking around, she saw that mostly everyone was still here either passed out or sleeping all over the floor and the couches.

As badly as Sophie wanted to blame her parents for this, she knew it had been all her fault. She gave in to the pressures of her friends and now she felt like she needed more of that wonderful powdery ecstasy. It allowed her to forget about her real life for a while and delve into a new one; a life she actually liked.

When Sophie woke up, she felt hot tears streaming down her cheeks. The last time she had a dream like this, Andy was there to save her. This time, there was no Andy to help her. It seemed he didn't care this time. And that made Sophie feel, admittedly, really bad. She still didn't know what she wanted. Did she want Andy to be there for her, care for her, save her? Or did she want to go back home and wish she had never met Andy? She was being pulled in two different directions and didn't know which way to give in to.

At last, she had decided the only way to fix everything was going to have to be a drastic decision. She had thought about it a lot before but never actually became that serious about it. This was it. Nothing was going to get better from now on.

Suicide.


	18. Toxic

A lot of thought had gone into it. It was just the timing that she needed to figure out. It was all about the timing. She felt as though her whole life had led up to this one moment. This was her destiny. She wasn't made for anything else. She wasn't put on this earth for any other reason other than to send a destructive storm through the lives of everyone she became relatively close to. She thought of Andy and how sweet he had been to her. And for a moment, she felt sorry that she was leaving him behind.

The boys were all out for the night and they had trusted Sophie to be on her own for a few hours. It was a mistake they would all regret. Andy may have taken her razors but that didn't mean she didn't still have some.

She was addicted to the pain. She was addicted to the high. She was an addict to all things toxic. She went into the bathroom and set her razors down on the counter next to the sink. She pulled up her sleeves to reveal her clean wrists and imagined what they would look like with all the gashes across her porcelain skin. She gazed at her withered face in the mirror once more before picking the razor up and dragging it slowly across her skin. She closed her eyes at the blissful pain of the metal cutting into her veins and releasing the blood that flowed through. Deep, red streams trickled down her arms and into the sink. She cut horizontally a few more times and allowed the bleach white sink to be stained red with her blood. She knew the fastest way to die by cutting was to cut vertically. But, no. She couldn't do that. She had a whole plan devised.

With the loss of blood, she began to feel lightheaded but didn't allow it to bother her. She grabbed a bottle of whisky from the cabinet, still bleeding, and ran off the bus and down the street. It was almost the middle of the night so no one would care to stop and ask her if she was alright. She didn't want them to anyway.

When Andy and the guys arrived back at the bus, most of them didn't even notice anything wrong. Andy was the last one in the bus and he saw drops of blood on the floor. "Guys, what is this?" He knelt down by a few drops and looked at it carefully.

"Blood." Ashley confirmed.

Andy shot up and ran to Sophie's bunk. She wasn't there but all her belongings were. He followed the trail of blood to the bathroom where he expected to find her laying there in a pool of it but no. All he discovered was the stained sink and silver razor now glistening with her blood. She had been there, but now she was gone.

Andy ran back to the front of the bus and sprinted down the road in the same direction that Sophie had just gone in. He didn't know where she was or where she was going, but as long as he followed the trail of blood droplets, he was bound to find her.

She stood at a bridge near by and waited. She took sips of the whiskey and watched cars go by. Some would slow down a bit, wondering if they should slow down and ask the girl if she needed help. Others would just zoom on by. Either way, everyone left her there. It was just more proof to her that no one really cared. All anyone seemed to care about in this world was themselves.

"Sophie!" Andy saw her standing on top of the bridge under the lamppost with the whiskey bottle in hand. "Get down from there!"

Sophie looked over at Andy's bewildered look. She felt nothing anymore. There wasn't anything she could do to help herself or to allow him to help her. He had cared for her when no one else did, but she was always too buzzed to realize it.

"It's done, Andy. I'm sorry." She dropped the bottle of whiskey on the pavement behind her. The glass bottle shattered into a thousand pieces as she stepped off the bridge.

"No!" Andy shouted as he ran towards the bridge. He leaned over the edge and peered into the glistening water below, waiting for her to resurface. She couldn't leave him. Andy knew that it wasn't her time. Even if she thought it was, he knew it wasn't. He waited for what seemed like an eternity, just wishing she would resurface. He refused to believe what he just watched. She never came back up for air.

Andy walked back to the bus in utter shock. He had just witnessed a suicide. He saved his fans from suicide every day yet when it came to a simple girl with a tortured past, a girl he learned to care for, he lost the battle. He wasn't anyone's hero. He was just Andy.


	19. So tell me, do you see me?

To say that Andy was mad at himself was an understatement. His brain couldn't process any solid thought and all he wanted to do was sleep so he wouldn't have to deal with the guilt that was eating away at his core. The rest of the guys in the band tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault but none of them were as close to Sophie as he had been.

While walking back to the buses, he ran into the last person he wanted to see. He never wanted to come across Ben ever again in his life. He was the reason she was the way she was. Andy had tried to help her get out of that ditch she was stuck in but he just dragged her down more and more.

"You killed her!" He shouted at Ben while tears streamed down his face.

Ben looked taken aback. "Andy, mate. Calm down! I didn't kill anyone. You're mental!" Ben tried backing away from Andy but Andy grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt.

"You know what you did." He said through gritted teeth. "Because of you, she's gone forever. I hope you're happy."

Ben tried to push Andy off him. "What are you talking about, Andy? Who did I kill? What did I do?" Ben begged to know what Andy was saying. He wasn't sure why Andy was so distraught.

"Sophie is dead because of you! She killed herself. She was so high off those drugs you gave her that she had no choice but to end it all. I tried to help her, Ben, I really did. But you kept forcing your hallucinatory shit on her and it drove her over the edge. I bet you don't even care, do you? No, because you were too fucked up to really appreciate what a great person Sophie was."

Andy looked like an asylum patient. His hair was all ruffled, his clothes were disheveled, his eyes were bloodshot from crying and his body was shaking.

"Andy! Hey!" Ashley ran towards them and took Andy into his arms from behind. "Andy, stop. It's okay. Andy tried to struggle out of his grip with no use and his body went limp. Ashley sat down with him on the pavement and held his quivering body as he cried and screamed and wished with everything he had for Sophie to just come back.

**1 year later**

It had been exactly a year since Sophie's suicide and Andy hadn't forgotten about her. After his recording session that day, he went to the building where he always used to pick Sophie up for their dates. He went to the alleyway where she would sleep. He missed her.

As he stood outside that big, gold building, he thought of all the times they had spent together. He remembered how schizo she would become when he offered to bring her inside. He thought of her blue eyes and golden blonde hair. He thought of how successful she could have become without all the drugs clogging up her system.

"Excuse me?" A woman's voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see a blonde woman with big blue eyes smiling at him. "You're standing in front of my car."

He glanced behind him at the sleek, black Audi and apologized. "Oh, I'm sorry." He stepped aside and let her get in. She started the car and a nerve inside him tightened. "Wait!" He banged on the window.

She rolled down the window. "Yes?"

"Sophie? Is that you?" He had to ask. It looked exactly like her. It had to be her.

Her smile grew wider. "Andy?" She turned off the car and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"It's you. You're not dead." His hands began to shake as he thought of the memory.

She shook her head. "I'm not dead. It was a miracle. A nice, old couple on their boat found me floating in the water and brought me back to their cabin. They both were retired doctors and they helped me get back on my feet. They put me into rehab and now here I am."

"You don't do that shit anymore? You don't live in the alley anymore?" Andy still couldn't believe she was standing in front of him in that moment.

"I actually live there now." She pointed to the big, gold building where she would stand and wait for him to pick her up.

One moment he was taking in her face and the next, his body was pressed up against hers. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and refused to let go. "I can't let you go again. I can't let you leave me again like that."

She smiled at his words and wrapped her arms around him, too. "I'm not going anywhere, Andy. I'm right here."


End file.
